October 8, 2007

Just say what?

Walking back from getting lunch today, I wandered past what became the current titleholder for Strangest Overheard Conversation Ever.

Man, into cell phone: "... no, the... the cocaine.... the cocaine was out on the back porch. The other stuff...." That was all I heard, and frankly more than I needed to.

Bear in mind that it was just past 1pm, in the area just around the Ballston Mall, and this man made no efforts to lower his voice or seek any particular privacy. In public, in plain sight. My question is, if you weren't interested in concealing the fact that you're talking about cocaine, then what on earth are you into that has to be cryptically described as, "The other stuff"? And what kind of idiot are you dealing with who's leaving cocaine out on the back porch? I mean seriously: what if it gets windy? Think, man, think! I don't even do coke and I know better than that.

This follows a couple of instances in the past couple of months where I've walked behind or past someone smoking pot, while making no effort to conceal the fact that they're smoking pot. One was on GW campus over the summer, some dude just strolling up the street, smoking a joint like it was a cigarette, without a care in the world (except maybe for some Doritos). The other was last week, just after lunch walking down Pennsylvania Avenue. You know, one of the busiest streets in DC? Some guy not even walking, just sitting next to the sidewalk toking up, half a block from one of those really nice hotels. Blew his cloud right in front of me.

Gone, apparently, are the days when the good, self-respecting druggie was behind closed doors, towel shoved into the crack, blowing through a toilet paper tube and dryer sheets. No need for incense, kids, don't worry about it. Get some fresh air with your smoke. It's DC, after all.

You can insert your own joke(s) here about Marion Barry, the DC Police and/or the crime rate and parking tickets. I'd do it for you, but I'm suddenly very hungry...


gn said...

Duh -- if you try to conceal it then you look suspicious.

Mandy said...


Well, I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I really can't.

Although I'm glad that I was an RA during the days of towel-stuffing and dryer sheets. I hated busting people for stuff, but really - if you were so stupid as to get caught, I couldn't help you there.

So many thanks to all my residents for be sneaky and underhanded.

Jo said...

I overheard a conversation about cocaine at a bar once. A really small bar. They were talking about the "transaction" and how they screwed each other over. Why don't these people talk about these things in private? I thought paranoia was a pretty standard side effect of drugs....Not that I would know from experience or anythign.

WiB said...

gn - sure, but it's hard "hide in plain sight" when you're blowing distinctive smoke around. If it smelled like Drakkar or something, I'd understand.

mandy - I had a couple who tried to be sneaky, but just weren't. Fortunately, I heard about it later, from the other RA who busted them. At least the didn't do it (or concealed it better) when I was around.

jo - paranoia??? Who said it makes you paranoid????

Arjewtino said...

Dude, I think we work near each other. Let's grab lunch.

inowpronounceyou said...

This town is fueled by cocaine. I'm certain of it. I've never been anywhere that I've seen so much of it done right out in the open in bathrooms etc. It's really rather shocking, and I don't shock easily.

ListenToLeon said...

I can't even walk around my neighborhood without passing the smell of weed smoke once or twice on a nice day! Folks are a lot more ballsy about smoking in broad daylight now than they were a few years back.

Now, talking about cocaine(or any drugs, for that matter) on a cell phone? That's not too smart.

Alex said...

As with anything else in life (e.g. walking past the bouncer, sneaking backstage), the key to getting away with stuff is to act like you know what you're doing and you're supposed to be doing whatever it is that you're doing.

Anonymous said...

given the degree to which conversations about damn near anything are carried out on cell phones with no regard for others,
how could you be surprised that the topics might also include cocaine?

legalize it said...

who cares? coke is one thing, but why so shocked about someone smoking weed in public? need i remind you that potheads are rarely aggressive or violent. you should be more shocked about the drunks on 18th st, M st, etc at 3am.

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